What were they thinking? I listen as folks express their "world view" of aging. Invariably they are missing a couple key pieces. Often they have substantial difficulty putting themselves in their aging patients shoes ... essentially into their parents or patients cognitive mind map.
This was brought home by Dr Stanly Falkow of Stanford Univ, one of five researchers recently honored with The Lasker Medical Prize. "Dr. Falkow, 74, was honored for his discoveries that grew out of an extraordinary ability to imagine himself as a bacterium so he could view the world from the microbial perspective."
Now, fast forward an order of magnitude, (from micro to macro), and explore the work of RD Laing. This brilliant Scottish psychiatrist turned psychiatry on its ear, insisting that he (and we) need to really get into the minds of our patients. His classic 90 page book Knots, is essentially a verbatim transcription of his amazing conversations with schizophrenic patients.
So, what happens when we take the time to be there - present and accounted for - with our parents, our patients, or our microbial friends - in their cognitive mind space, not ours ... not in our projections, our misperceptions, our assumptions, not watching the clock? Just Be There With Them.
The answer, the experience for Stanley Falkow, R D Laing, and for us ... is breathtaking. It is transformative of outcomes for us ... and for the parent or patient. However, to experience that, we need to give ourselves permission to let go, roll up the shades, open up the view, and change our perspective from viewfinder to subject, free of judgment, criticism or pretense - WITH our parent, WITH the patient.Not, colloquially, "them and us".
A caveat: In R D Laing's case, it was important to have a large rock and a strong climbing rope, to find ones way back from spelunking in the dark caves of depression, paranoia and schizophrenia. But, that should not preclude the journey - for either of you.Together, you can take it easy, take your time, take it in bite sized pieces - reflect, appreciate, and return for more ... insight after insight.
What were they thinking? Just ask (and be open to the answer)
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